Dietary Laws Pillows

"And here's a list of food you can't eat."

"I'd invite you back to the house for a glass of iced tea, but I'm afraid our kitchen isn't kosher."

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Gun Ego

"First, do no ham."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

"You gotta multiply dog years by seven, pal."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

No! The new mining bill hasn't passed yet!

'I excuse my weight by saying I'm eating for three. Unfortunately, the twins were born months ago.'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"I know... everybody just assumes I'm a vegetarian."

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

'The health dept. takes a great leap forward.'

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

'It's a tax on taxes.'

No Smoking.

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

The Sprats

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

"You claim you're not cheating on your diet, Mr. Parker. But how do you explain this recent weight gain?"

"I'm giving up chocolate for lent."

'Have you tried the meatballs yet?'

"All these healthy eating edicts and chew twenty times...I'm fed up to where my back teeth used to be!"

'And ask the chef to run his blender as he cooks that steak. My doctor has put me on a liquid diet.'

"The doctor says I should go on a bland diet. There's no bland in this house!"

What They Believe In

Gluten-free area.