Culinary Regulations Pillows

ECJ: it's illegal to call tofu 'cheese'.

Soup of the month.

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Garden.

Too much cilantro

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Holiday Supplies

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

I love Cannelloni

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Please don't kill me."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

The perfect man

"Pie chart"

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"A little lamb please."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"You know, we have our little spats, but we don't argue about what to eat nearly as much as other couples."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'