Culinary Regulations Pillows

ECJ: it's illegal to call tofu 'cheese'.

Soup of the month.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Garden.

Too much cilantro

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

I love Cannelloni

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Holiday Supplies

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Please don't kill me."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

The perfect man

"Pie chart"

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"A little lamb please."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

"You know, we have our little spats, but we don't argue about what to eat nearly as much as other couples."

'Careful. The plates are extremely cold.'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'