Dietary Idealist Gifts

"It's the only organic lacto-vegan menu I could find that fitted into the firms Christmas meal budget."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Before/After

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

Diet Sugar House.

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

''Usually drunk with pizza.' Hey, so am I!'

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

"I don't have to be carnivorous, you know."

'Look! The health food shop has been hit by the recession.'

"Just Desserts" and "Unjust Desserts"

Instagram!!!

"No thanks, mom. I'm on a vegetable free diet."

'You're fat. I'm putting you on a diet.'

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

The Last Thanksgiving

Sad Statue of Liberty

"If you don't plan on snacking at night, then why did you move the refrigerator in here?"

'I'm starting my exercise program slowly...I'm pulling on the refrigerator door 30 times a day now.'

"I don't eat meat or fish, so I can't tell you much about the specials."

"These aren't just your ordinary town square pigeons, that's low gi gluten-free bread. . ."