Diet Tribunal Gifts

No one visits Cindy's office since she started putting healthy snacks in her candy bowl.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Chocs away.

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"I'm a monster."

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

'I wasn't going to eat him, but then he tripped right in front of me.'