Diet Perfectionist Gifts

"Trying to remove gluten from your life is easier said than done."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Critisize your weight.

All Natural Nothing

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Diet considerations.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).