Body Perfectionist Gifts

'He pushes his body to the limit, in he search for perfection.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Yoga for Alcoholics

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Could you keep still?"

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

Office Ergonomics.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Writer

Poetry repairman

Making it look easy.

Besties Photo

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"Stop staring"

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'Chair Pose' - 'Utkatasana' - 'Mountain Pose' - 'Tadasana' - 'Standing Forward Bend' - 'Kissmyasana'

Using a social media app to date

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Office Ergonomics.

"Page 33, line 4..."

'My chiropractor said that since I had the twins my posture has improved.'

"You didn't iron the crease in my pants!! I'm gonna look ridiculous!!"