Diet Diary Keeper Gifts

Thin and thick

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Critisize your weight.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Professional woman in pub

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Dieting Motivation.

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Attack of the 'health' foods

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Lost Diary'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.