Diet Diary Keeper Gifts

Thin and thick

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Professional woman in pub

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Attack of the 'health' foods

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Lost Diary'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).