Dieting Diary Keeper Gifts

"Guess the weight you used to be"

A Prisoner of Food.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Professional woman in pub

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'Lost Diary'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"I had half a date last weekend."

Shrink

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

Thin and thick

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'I've got a perfect investment plan: For half my money, I'll buy cookie plant stocks and for the the other half, I'll buy diet pill makers stocks!'

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

"You research diets, then order junk food online. Your computer isn't broken, it's just confused."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

Gigolo Diary

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

Woman and scales.

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."