Dieting Diary Keeper Gifts

"Guess the weight you used to be"

A Prisoner of Food.

How I lost 200 kilos of friends in just 3 months!

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Professional woman in pub

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

'Lost Diary'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Summertime... When you go zero to 'booked up' in 3.5 seconds

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

"I had half a date last weekend."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

Shrink

Thin and thick

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

"You research diets, then order junk food online. Your computer isn't broken, it's just confused."

Woman and scales.

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

'I've got a perfect investment plan: For half my money, I'll buy cookie plant stocks and for the the other half, I'll buy diet pill makers stocks!'