Diet Cycle Philosopher Gifts

"Life's a binge and then you diet"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

View to the Future

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"First you make a roux."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

The Politics of Food.

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Food Pyramid

'Yes, but is it tart?'

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

A Complex Carb.

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

“Children hate me.”

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'