Diet Cycle Philosopher T-Shirts

"Life's a binge and then you diet"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"First you make a roux."

The Politics of Food.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

'Yes, but is it tart?'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

A Complex Carb.

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

“Children hate me.”

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.