Diet Culture Analyst Gifts

'you're lucky I'm on a low carb diet, Jack or I'd be grinding your bones to make my bread.'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Sawdust.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

Diet Cud

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

"Hey, honey. Are we ona diet again?"

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'The nation is evenly divided again...the red states, Atkins Diet...the blue states, South Beach.'