Diet Culture Analysts Gifts

'It's not fair,' said Eve, 'even when I eat healthily I'm made to feel guilty.'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Sawdust.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Diet Cud

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"Hey, honey. Are we ona diet again?"

'The nation is evenly divided again...the red states, Atkins Diet...the blue states, South Beach.'

'How is the new diet going?'

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

'She was always very proud of her figure.'