Diet Crusader T-Shirts

'That's our cheapest diet plan.'

"You've got the body of a teenager...unfortunately."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

You're the puff in my pastry!

Back to work...

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

You've Had Enough!

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Cuba prevails over the Covid 19

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Fighting the Zika Virus

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

DIY Butchers

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

Boris Johnson vs Corona

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'