Diet Cola Enthusiast Pillows

Wishing Well

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

All Natural Nothing

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Fat man on scales.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."