Diet Book Collectors Pillows

'I got the idea while stranded on a tropical isle.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

All Natural Nothing

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

Party time.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

Divine Desk Bins

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'