Dictator Debunker Gifts

'No oil, no whales, no help.'

Kim Jong Un

Old dictator Lukashenko

Rumours Online

Statue of Liberty

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

'Thank you but I'm a bit sensitive to ethnic food.'

This Virtual Campaign Is Even Less Exciting Than the Usual Virtual Campaign

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"Sure, you're a dictator, son, but Muriel's boy is an absolute dictator."

"Look, Earl. . . It's a young person Republican! They do exist!"

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

'Mayonnaise is immoral.'

"The candidates this year are really honest."

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"I hope it misses us!"

If Animals Were Racist...

"Just remember, you could end up just like me. . . dead and hanging upside down at a gas station. . ."

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

Oliverachy - Short-lived political system where leaders were chosen by how many olives they could fit in their mouths.

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

'Hey, Pops...the peasants are out of food again and I wrecked my Mercedes... What do we do about it?'

"I want a large pepperoni, pronto! And don't be stingy with the cheese. No anchovies! If I find one anchovy, I'll have your head on a pole. . ."

'They're having a ball up there.'

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Uh, well, I can't pay today, but my Surety, Joe Q. Public's Great-Great-Great Grandson will stand good for me..."

"What to wear today?"

Wimp and Wimpier: The Democratic Field for 2020

Republican campaign tosses out the truth.

Non-Controversial Textbooks: "In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

Trump Campaign Funding

"Hold on a tick! I didn't consent to this. . . Did you consent to this?"

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.