Dictator Antics Gifts

"I want a large pepperoni, pronto! And don't be stingy with the cheese. No anchovies! If I find one anchovy, I'll have your head on a pole. . ."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

The Goalkeeper

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Jungle Games

Dog playing snooker/pool.

Dog Training.

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

Cat taunts dog at intersection.

"Just remember, you could end up just like me. . . dead and hanging upside down at a gas station. . ."

"Serves you right for licking it!"

cat singing into microphone

Dog stuck in cat flap.

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Oliverachy - Short-lived political system where leaders were chosen by how many olives they could fit in their mouths.

'Hey, Pops...the peasants are out of food again and I wrecked my Mercedes... What do we do about it?'

Lemming meringue pie.

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

'It was just here! Ugh...I bet it threw our dinner again.'

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

Cat flushing toilet with dog in bath.