Dictator Satire Lovers Gifts

"Okay, so we'll stop calling them delusions of grandeur now that you've been appointed supreme leader for life."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Schengen

The Anti-Agent

Occu-Pie Mars

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Trump pardons

Do Not Resuscitate

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

Oligarchy

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

This Message Has No Content

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

National Everything Awareness Day