Devotee Of Humor Pillows

'Well, Mr. Hefner. Here we are. Hope you're not disappointed.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Charles Addams.

Honest Voting Stickers

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

The Monroe Doctrine

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Bunny Pranks

Only in America

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

Spying Smart TV

Euro Collapse

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Dollars Press Conference

Traders joining Wall Street protests

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

Busy, Busy, Busy