Devious Plot Fan Gifts

He looks so natural lying there...

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Play 'Misty' for me."

The life of penguins.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

Subway Thrillers

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

'He's been shot!'

10 commandments

'When did he start stroking a white Persian cat?'

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"We need a plot twist."

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager