Secret Plot Lover Gifts

Galoots in cahoots

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

007's Dating Mishaps

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

10 commandments

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

'We had a power surge, and the electronic scoreboard seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Mid-list Author Magazine

'We find the defendant guilty, but feel his alibi would make a good premise for a John Grisham book.'

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

"We need to spice up the company blog to get more views. . . We'll need you to have a torrid affair with Mrs Widlington."

'Well, he gave me treats, patted me, played with me: How was I supposed to know he was a burglar?'

A Vegetable Plot...

Live Bait.

Revenge of the Terror Elk

"And to think we started as a book club."

The Jew and Morris both begin to understand each other

"Better than Chekhov"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 13

'I should've stayed in Russia.'

"So, in writing, there are six basic plots, and their sequels and derivative franchises."

'The scruffy gits Fawkes.'

"Don't worry about digging under the chicken coop fence: I have a bolt-cutter..."

Gas truck that has run out of gas.

'Who would have thought there was a market for it?'