Secret Plot Lover Gifts

Galoots in cahoots

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

10 commandments

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Mid-list Author Magazine

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

'We had a power surge, and the electronic scoreboard seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'

"We need to spice up the company blog to get more views. . . We'll need you to have a torrid affair with Mrs Widlington."

Live Bait.

A Vegetable Plot...

'Well, he gave me treats, patted me, played with me: How was I supposed to know he was a burglar?'

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

"And to think we started as a book club."

Revenge of the Terror Elk

"Don't worry about digging under the chicken coop fence: I have a bolt-cutter..."

The Jew and Morris both begin to understand each other

'The scruffy gits Fawkes.'

"So, in writing, there are six basic plots, and their sequels and derivative franchises."

"Better than Chekhov"

Gas truck that has run out of gas.