Devious Plot Fan Pillows

Mortkey, want to go to a museum? You? A museum? There's an iPod museum? Very funny. It's an art museum. I thought we could go together. Sounds like a worthy outing. But it's a trap. Rudy actually is tricking Mortkey into getting into the car so he can drive the condescending little monkey to ... Obedience school?! Gotcha.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

He looks so natural lying there...

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Play 'Misty' for me."

The life of penguins.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

Subway Thrillers

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

"After several chapters of pushing a boulder up a hill over and over again, I think your average reader will watn to see something else happen, Mr. Sisyphus."

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

10 commandments

'When did he start stroking a white Persian cat?'

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

'He's been shot!'

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

"We need a plot twist."

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."