Devilish Wit Admirer Gifts

"I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here."

"Well, well, well, if it ain't 'Father Fondle'...."

"Any references?"

Going Down?

"I love this time of year."

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

G.K. Chesterton.

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

"You have to admire their ingenuity at least -- They're burying their apple cores."

"It's talk like a pirate day."

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

'... And the last thing I remember saying was, 'It oughta be a sin to look this good.''

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

'These days, nearly ninety percent of our business is hell on earth.'

Soul Music

'You're smarter than you look? -- well, I should HOPE so!'

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."