Devilishly Witty Friend Gifts

'Well! Well! Talk of the Devil.....'

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Meowlzebub

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

Big man on Krampus

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

"Okay, come at me in a conga line."

"You'll be in charge of the music down here."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

Robinia Floribunda

'You're nuts! It isn't any hotter than usual so quit brining up global warming!'

'I'm a little worried about the dedication to His Satanic Majesty, Bishop.'

'We've got the neighbours from hell.'

"I don't think I'm quite ready for Satan sings the blues!"

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

No, it doesn't come furnished.

I've got a gun.

"Can I call you back, Rusty, I'm in the jacuzzi."

Devil Stove

"Go on, clear off you ruddy pervert and don't come back."

Hand baskets only lane in hell.

'When you're done fixing the furnace, could you gather up these Demons From Hell that escaped?'

"I've made peace with my demons."

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

"I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here."

Universal's Sudoku.

Optimist in Hell.

'The smoking section, please.'

'Relax. They hired me for my people skills.'

101 uses of a dead cat: saw