Devil Devotee Gifts

'I'm sorry to say that one among you is not pulling his weight... I don't think it's necessary to name names.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

"...And please let the merger do through!"

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"It sounds good so far, are there any strings attached?"

Hire a lawyer - get one free! Limited time only.

Give Thanks.

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

'It was a split decision.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

Devil Tricks

Team!

This was the first and last time Rolf bungee-jumped!

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

The Human Cannonball flies past space capsule.

'What are these for? You only bring me flowers when you've done something good.'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

'Michael left me because of my extreme couponing...at least I think he left me.'

"Why weren't we warned of this in D.A.R.E.?"

"I'd sell my soul for one of those."

Doze: the magazine for slumber enthusiasts

'I don't want to worry you lads, but the throttle has jammed wide open!'

'Ladies and gentlemen, if you thought the human cannonbal was exciting you'll love our next act!'

Peace Fighting

'No wonder it's so warm! Someone's been messing with the thermostat again!'

...To tell the truth, I find them quite becoming.

Mother with Child.

"We've already projected a winner."

With an itchy trigger finger, shoot first then scratch.