Device Detacher Gifts

"Smartphone sales" "Degradation of society"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'Is this the new input device?'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

Fur Baby

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'You're better off without him.'

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

"I'd like the view better if I hadn't forgot my bleeper"

Consumer care and technologies

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'How can you call yourself a workaholic if you don't even have a Blackberry Thumb?'

'For an interactive experience press the off button now.'

"Not so much fun being people-watched back, eh?"

"I don't mind them sending me to my room, but then they shut down my wifi."

Gulliver decided to stay in Lilliput and sign a lucrative contract for Long Distance Running.

"You can't put that phone down, can you?"

'Fighting broke out today in Silicon Valley between PC aficionados and Mac owners...'

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

No one saw anything.

'Your Dell went to hell.'

"You won't believe it, babe. This guy on tech support actually seems to give a s**t."

"Perhaps when you have a chance, you could tell me why you think your marriage drifted apart?"

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."