Detergent Devotee Gifts

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

Upon retirement Chantel pledges to use laundry detergents that meet environmental requirements...

'The other reason your soul feels so clean is become someone put too much laundry detergent in the washing machine, again...'

'I wish we could find a quick and easy way to remove blood stains...'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Be Healthy

"Too much concealer?"

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Bubble Gum Dispenser

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

New Twenty Blades

'You do Botox?'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"God, I love this show!"

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"So what's your success rate?"

Well that's me detoxed!

Beauty regime

'Well, I actually believe my face cream makes me look younger. You believe no one knows you're wearing a padded bra. . . we all love our delusions.'

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

'Rub this anti-wrinkle cream on all your mirrors. It won't remove the wrinkles but it will make them harder to see.'

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

"It was built from a scratch."

"Come out, honey. I found the sunscreen."

"It's a remarkable find...evidence of human habitation that dates to ancient history!"