Detergent Devotee Pillows

"We've done it! We've done it! We've discovered a detergent that takes the chore out of washing and makes all other detergents seem old-fashioned by comparison!"

Upon retirement Chantel pledges to use laundry detergents that meet environmental requirements...

'I wish we could find a quick and easy way to remove blood stains...'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Be Healthy

"Too much concealer?"

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

Bubble Gum Dispenser

New Twenty Blades

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'You do Botox?'

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"So what's your success rate?"

Well that's me detoxed!

'Well, I actually believe my face cream makes me look younger. You believe no one knows you're wearing a padded bra. . . we all love our delusions.'

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

Beauty regime

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Rub this anti-wrinkle cream on all your mirrors. It won't remove the wrinkles but it will make them harder to see.'

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

"It was built from a scratch."

"Come out, honey. I found the sunscreen."

'I'm having what he's having.'

"It's a remarkable find...evidence of human habitation that dates to ancient history!"

'The boss finally noticed me today. He said I should wear deodrant.'

"Once more into the bleach dear friends."