Dessert Humorist Gifts

"Captain Hook is an idiot."

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Cake Free Zone

'The Burrito King.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

'Do you want toast with that?'

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!