Desk Devotionalist Gifts

'He is having trouble adjusting to the new normal.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Working 9 to 5.

Office Ergonomics.

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Office Park

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

International House of Paperwork

Working Vacation.

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

'It's all right. I'm just a little behind.'

Still Here

"I see it's payday again Perkins!"

"My one regret is that I didn't spend more quality time with my office."

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

Employee asleep with his head in the 'out' box.

Desk Request

"It's the new mobile office."

Waiting for the 5 o'clock hooter.

Exec Has His Whole Life At His Desk

Give Thanks.

Rumors of war...rumors of peace.

Desk sale

"Actually the salary isn't important. . . I just need a desk to rest my feet on."