Designer Breed Enthusiast Gifts

"He's a Crocodoodle."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Dog Calenders.

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

"He was sold to me as a Weimaraner but I really think he's more of a Wisenheimer."

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

'Yes, we're trying to re-introduce some of the more traditional breeds.'

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

"Come on now. One of you guys know how to be a SETTER."

Fauna Hybrids

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

'Sure, Lassie made us Border Collies popular, but the drawback is that people expect us to save them or run for help all the time...'

'He's a mixed breed.'

"Shoes Louboutin"

'Trouble is he's not a dalmatian.'

Signs that your sneakers are far too expensive. . .

We have dog spas, dog motels, dog walkers, dog designer clothes...

'I can't play with you today. I have to show my owner how to change the oil in his BMW. It's a curse being a smart breed.'

Trophy dog stick

"It's a relatively new breed. He's a West Coast Trend Setter!"

"I'm tripping over bernedoodles, labradoodles, goldendoodles, schnoodles and cockapoos, ...and you want me to somehow believe you're not sleeping around?"

Karl Lagerfeld.

"Don't use that card, it clashes with your tie"

'A mixed Poodle? Really, Doctor!...

"For goodness sake Dad, he's not a hippy: He's an Afghan Greyhound!"

Before you ask...he's a neopolitan mastiff.

'Well yes, technically, I'm a Sheep-Dog, but I've never been near a farm, let alone a sheep...'

"Go on have a guess, Manolo Blahniks, or Jimmy Choos?"

Dachshunds chasing Weinermobile.

"Don't look at me like that! I know you're not THAT long. I just need some practice for my knitting classes."

"She's a Golden Retriever. I've Always Had A Thing For Blondes!"

She's a Labrachihuashepoodle hound.