Desert Living Gifts

"Smoke signal say... Your house is on fire."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

The americanisation of vulture.

"Valet park only"

Mohammad's motors

Just a little seasoning...

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

Florist "Say it with cacti"

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'Rats! The GPS-coordinates don't match any known oasis: it must be a mirage...'

"Have you noticed any global warming?"

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

Jasper's Limo Service.

"Efficiency tombs available"

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

"I could have sworn Arizona was landlocked."

'I'm really thirsty.'

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

Farmer reads newspaper headline 'Drought Hits Midwest'; sees sand dunes and camel caravan through window.

'Hey, scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.'

Desert crawler following water

'Don't just stand there! Take me to your leader!'

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

Boss, I got your memo. Why can't I talk about the ancient pyramids with the patrons? You misread that, minion. I want you to talk about the pyramids even more. Throw in the Sphinx, while you're at it. I've noticed a 4.35 spike in sales of cold drinks every time you bring up desert-based topics. You're taking all the fun out of human interaction. From now on, you're to carry around a small cactus at all times.

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

Cactus Uses An Umbrella When Raining.

"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."

'Oh, I am SO going to put this on my blog!'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"He's the strong, silent type."