Desert Life Gifts

'It's true - the legs go first!'

Stretch-Camel.

"Lay off the water."

Armadillo

'Pardon my back.'

Joe was so poor, his dog was a tumbleweed.

"We don't get TV signals out here: Thank goodness, we have a DVD player..."

"Seriously? You can't see the oasis? Are you telling me I'm painting a mirage?"

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The americanisation of vulture.

Mohammad's motors

"Valet park only"

A Tumble Cow

Just a little seasoning...

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'You know...that ain't a good sign.'

"Have you noticed any global warming?"

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

"Efficiency tombs available"

'I'm really thirsty.'

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

Jasper's Limo Service.

'Run really fast toward the cactus and then just stop. It freaks them out.'

"I could have sworn Arizona was landlocked."

Farmer reads newspaper headline 'Drought Hits Midwest'; sees sand dunes and camel caravan through window.

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

'Hey, scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.'