Dental Care Jester Pillows

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

Dentist Trip

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

"We're trying to save your husband."

Nurse cautioning a patient

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'

'Open it... I think they have to go potty.'

'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'

"I can catch-you can't throw."

'Jill, come take a look at Mr. Bolinder's EKG!'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

'I wouldn't wait too long, for a limited time banks are offering low interest loans on coronary bypass surgery.'

The last 'take your mother to work' day.

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

'You mean medical science hasn't come up with a cure for common cooties?'

'I stopped taking the medicine because I prefer the original disease to the side effects.'

'Actually, the loud ringing has stopped, now I hear knocking.'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

You only get your tonsils out once. Milk it.

"Business or Pleasure?"

Toothpaste Marketing Department