Delivery Tracking Gifts

'I'm tracking the book you requested...Ooo, the truck just hit a pothole.'

Tracking app: '3 minutes ago, we couldn't deliver your toilet paper parcel because you didn't answer the door.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Food deliverer's baby.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Currently Boston

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Anything for me?"

'Frank, I think it's about time you bought another pair of boots.'

Snail Coach

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

Modern Cupid

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

"Ha! Hey, Ralph, this says it's to go to Sea-Park, but it's the wrong address. Weird, huh? Ralph!"

"Do you have experience delivering anything other than eggs?"

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

'Did you order something from Amazon?'

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

Transplant delivery

Junk Mail.