Trade Tracker Gifts

Currently Boston

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Which way up do you want it?"

"To say things are bad is an UNDERSTATEMENT...We're staring into a FINANCIAL ABYSS, the COLLAPSE of the banking sector...On the other hand some experts believe that things will be back to normal in a few months ."

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

Lyme Disease Research Lab

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

'First the good news.'

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

Yo-Yo Sales

"The economic modeling of our economic modeling suggests we need to remodel."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

Hipster Police Department

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

The Price of Nothing

Loser's Podium.

'Today, in the stock market, 'irrational exuberance' was up, 'caution' was down.'

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."