Delivery Dramatist T-Shirts

"Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to find this place."

Southwark Fair.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

A man taking a bow

Comedy and tragedy masks

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Henrik Ibsen,

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

The Perfect Foil

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

John Masefield.

The Modern Godot

Eugene Ionesco

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

James Barrie.

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Henrik Ibsen

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

Euripides

'After you with the camouflage.'

Modern Day Hamlet.

To Be/Not To Be

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."