Deli Visits Pillows

Shopper-Gatherers Considering The Mammoth Special At A Pleistocene Deli

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Baloneystini

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

The Deli Llama

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"I'm a retired doctor."

"What do you recommend today?"

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

I'll try the cod surprise.

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"You folks ready to order?"

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'God, man! What did I tell you? No direct eye contact, ever, with the sommelier!'

Cafe offers corn several ways.

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"