Deli Owner Gifts

Deliboys

Pastrami in the wild

Christian Books: We have The Loaves and the Fishes. . . Joe's Deli: We have the Jam & the Tartar Sauce.

One Hour Sandwich shop

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"That one with the holes, that's what they use for a drilled cheese sandwich."

Salvador Deli

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

Deli/Antiques: Got Shrimp? Got Gout?

Olives

Lovingly Handmade Sandwiches

Wild Irv Moskowitz, the meanest deli-man in the West.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Cut Price

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Today's special... donuts.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"This is our soft opening."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."