Deli Employee Gifts

'I'll have an out-of-work-ploughman's please.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Deliboys

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Regular or decapitated?'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'Can I get a box for this?'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

Pastrami in the wild

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

The Deli Llama

Chicken Coupe.

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"I'm a retired doctor."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Just a drop."

The Salvador Deli

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

'I'll have that old breakfast standard, Shih-Tzu-On-a-Shingle.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

'Where did you get the meat slicer? France.'

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

Have you heard of a celebrity roast, Lance? The closest I ever came to a celebrity roast was the time I had a roast beef in a deli and Henny Youngman walked in.

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

Olives

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

Salvador Deli

One Hour Sandwich shop

Chair massages.