Deli Market Analyst Gifts

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"They’re real."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Deliboys

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Baloneystini

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Travel looks strong!

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

Pulling The Economy Uphill

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

The two faces of capitalism.

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

Chinese Stock Market Crash

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."