Deli Market Analyst T-Shirts

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"They’re real."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Baloneystini

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Deliboys

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

Pulling The Economy Uphill

Travel looks strong!

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

The two faces of capitalism.

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."