Deli Adventurer Gifts

"Relax, I said I'm looking for 'A Reuben!'"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

American style Greek cafe.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

International House of Excrement

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

'New Barbeque.'

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

'Your bill sir.'

"I'm a retired doctor."

Roadkill Restaurant

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

Arabian Cuisine

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"