Delayed Joker Pillows

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Night of the Latkes

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Get crazy once in a while

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"A little under done?"

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Ice-Cube-IV

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

Santa Claws...

Toilet humour

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"You idiots … we lost!"

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."