Delayed Joker Pillows

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Night of the Latkes

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

Get crazy once in a while

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"A little under done?"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

Ice-Cube-IV

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Santa Claws...

"You idiots … we lost!"

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

Toilet humour

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"The kids told me it was a magic wand."

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."