Delay Tolerator Pillows

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will make an annoying 'BEEEEP' sound....'

"O.K., she's sitting down to write in three....two....one...."

Shaker Timeouts

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

"It's a beautiful painting. But next time you're bored while waiting to see the doctor, I suggest just reading a magazine."

Planet of the Slightly Irritating Squeaky Things.

"The doctor will see you once you've waited long enough to understand who's boss."

"Wow. This sucks."

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

Welcome To I'll-Start-Tomorrow-Cise!

Notice at Train Station - 'It Is Better To Travel Hopefully Than To Arrive'.

Jerome Higgins, World Champion of boring people to death.

"Promise you won't open it before Christmas?"

Meet Hank C. Muffle, award winning author of the best lame excuses for train and plane delays!

"I believe you own me three hours from that flight to New York."

'Is the seven year flowering cactus in bud yet?'

Rail Platform Information: I Speak Your Wait.

Clancy: No Sense of Humour

"It's amazing how if you wait long enough, everything you've been putting off becomes irrelevant."

Golf Putt

'Perkins, you're 5.2376712 seconds late!'

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."

New neighbours

1 hour delay, 2 hour delay, 3 hour delay.

'I miss having four seasons.'

"Owing to cutbacks the 20.19 service will not arrive until 2021 - probably about June."

Bored men in waiting room

'Just pretend I'm not here.'