Defining The Relationship Gifts

"You have to decide, Peter. Am I your significant other or am I your tootsie-wootsie?"

"Oh-oh...the way she said 'Jason'...I think its time to define the relationship."

In the Guru District

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Life is for the birds.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"You do like octopus?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Romance

Right click for yes...

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"