Relationship Communication Gifts

'Is something wrong Kevin... we don't talk anymore!'

"Are you multitasking me?"

"I'm open to having children with you, Carl. I just feel we should wait until your prolonged adolescence is over."

"What is it, Roger? You seem detached."

"Even if you do find proof, it won't convince me..."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

In the Guru District

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Campaign for Plain English

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Life is for the birds.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"