Couples' Communication Gifts

'It's one of my many talents. I can not talk and not listen at the same time.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

Social Networking.

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'There's so little understanding. Why can't we all just get along?' 'Get a long what?'

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

'I feel obligated to tell you that this offer may expire without prior written notice.'

"After all these years I'm afraid that we just don't fit each other anymore."

"So, do you find it annoying that he can't multitask?"

'Do we LOOK as though we asked for 'Love is a Many Splendoured Thing'?'

'He used to focus only on me... now he just focuses on his stupid ball!'

And, Rocky, just because you roll onto your back doesn't mean Ginger has to rub your belly. Canine counseling.

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you and yes, I'll be happy to see you sometime. Bring your wife along. I'm a marriage counselor.'

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"Don't be too upset. If we were meant to have good sex, we probably would have married other people."

"We've been avoiding it for way to long. We really need to have a face-to-face text."

"Margo, I think it's time we talked about us."

'I need to know where I stand, Ursula.'

'This is a meaningful relationship, the sex means a lot to me.'

"As a marriage counselor, I dealt with husbands and wives. Now I don't know what to call them."

'What makes you think she's been laying around?'

'You need to put a little more fun into your marriage.'

'Is something wrong Kevin... we don't talk anymore!'

"I can express my opinions to you because you have an open mind."

"He answers back."

"I love you but I love my chocolate fudge sundae more."

"I know we have an arrangement, Gayle. Now I want a rearrangement."