Couple Banter Gifts

'You're totally unreasonable.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'There's so little understanding. Why can't we all just get along?' 'Get a long what?'

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

'I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you and yes, I'll be happy to see you sometime. Bring your wife along. I'm a marriage counselor.'

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'

"My mom still makes all my clothes by hand."

"I know you're in there, Miriam...hurry up, I have to go!"

'Wait a minute, this prescription is for a dozen oysters and half an ounce of powdered rhino horn!'

'It's one of my many talents. I can not talk and not listen at the same time.'

"I never thought I'd see the day when Mummy would pat you on the head."

'We were playing doctor until she hit me with a malpractice suit!'

'That's in case there's any backsliding.'

'I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying if you're RIGHT, I'm a Dutch uncle.'

"Ever notice that you finish my sentences and. . ."

"I love you but I love my chocolate fudge sundae more."

'You've got to be brave now... I'm not going to leave you in 2009!'

"When you say, 'It's all good' what you really mean is, 'I don't care'."

"I don't want to treat you like dirt, but I don't want to lose you, either."

'Why am I not allowed to use this agricultural road, officer? My wife always calls me 'stupid ox''!

"If you don't want me to sound like that when I imitate you, then don't sound like that when you talk to me."

"He was twelve when we first met. Now, he;s twenty one... Stone, that is."

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'You can't take things personally --- it's only marriage.'

"I told you not to buy a waterbed!"

'Behind every successful man there's a woman, telling him he isn't successful enough.'

'I must be in my second childhood -- my wife keeps sending me to bed without supper.'