Defiers Of The Ordinary Gifts

Keep of the Grass.

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

Pub Kendo.

"If robots can replace workers, then they can replace students. So I created one for me. Now I can stay home all day and play video games."

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"While your idea is novel and innovative, it questions the status quo and can harm those entrenched in this organization. I'm ruling it out as being too disruptive."

'Are we birds? Are these wings? Well, let's get rid of this idea that we can't fly!'

'He doesn't like to catch anything - He just fishes for the exercise!'

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

Baseball.

"It's Spring. I'm wearing it."

"Classical guitar hero"

"I think he's running as an independent."

"I am here on behalf of a concerned caller, why are you wearing shorts in winter?"

'Son, you need to get your priorities wrong.'

'-not too early,are we?'

'It's a crazy price but I think it's me.'

'No, it's not my diploma. I dropped out. It's my birth certificate.'

Wedding nose ring

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

'If I major in criminology, can I get life experience credit?'

I had my shirt on backward all day. Why didn't you tell me?! I was too busy being impressed, little buddy. You were defying social norms. Walking to the beat of your own drummer. Soaring to the flapping of your own wings. When I see a man with his short on backward, I don't correct him. I applaud him. How about when you see a woman with her shirt on backward? I applaud her too, even though there's an increased risk of misunderstanding-related slappage.

"It's been a year. Seriously. No one cares anymore."

"I can't wrap so I shellacked it."

Just 10 minutes into the evening, Betsy resolved to cancel her online dating membership.

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

"How long do we have to be together before everyone finally stops asking us when we're having kids?"